I carried it for you and only you, now the weight of the world is on my dirty hands!

Well, Christmas is over for another year and another year draws to its close. So to mark this yearly tradition of festive fun that one assumes will happen I thought I'd post another blogpost just because I've been out of the loop for a few weeks. So never fear I'm not dead, just yet.

So the news, Semester one is over and its behind me now. But the fiction course has inspired me for once, well its really just given me a kick in the arse to actually write outside of university. So I've now started the long awaited novel that I must have told myself I should start at some point in the future. Well that day has arrived (Cue the celebrations!) And I've even got a tentive tag-line for the thing. "Not all Religious Cults are based on myths!" So yes its something to keep my mind occupied for a bit, instead of resorting to killing as many people as I possibly can on Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood. Sorry but religious tom-foolary isn't appropriate at this time of year is it?... or maybe it is? Answers on a postcard please.

In other news, I attended a wonderful concert at the start of December for the marvelous 30 Seconds to Mars with Enter Shikari supporting. As usual the world attempted to stop due to the snow that decided to fall the night before but we made it there and enjoyed one of the best shows of the year. Just to remind anyone who finds it's a good idea to enter a moshpit for Enter Shikari, it's not. I very nearly died in that thing. But that could just be my typical luck though. It's also a good idea these days when you are poor student's to create your own band t-shirt before the gig, like I did for 30 Seconds. I believe the main focus of the tee was the lyrics to 100 Suns and the words "Gay only for Leto!" written on the back. Yes I am aware that is a strange declaration to make in front of nearly a 1,000 random strangers but the fact is it was a dare from my friend and I'm not one to easily back down from a dare. I will not be defeated.

Anyway that's all for now. I trust all ye noble followers have had a good Christmas, and even if you haven't don't be too down, it's not the end of the world until 2012 remember so we have one more year to get it right! As usual I'm going to close with the recommended songs for the moment. Again these do not mean anything in particular, I'm just spreading the joy of music across the world and to the four corners of the 'verse. So here they are:
Ellie Goulding- Lights
Young Guns- Weight of the World
30 Seconds to Mars- Hurricane (with or without Kayne West your own personal choice)
The Gaslight Anthem- Old Haunts
&
This Town Needs Guns- Baboon

Enjoy and I'll see you all in the New Year.

What is the price we must pay when our only sin is humanity

Ah metaphorical gibberish, how I do love to tease you in my titles to blogs. I love coming up with these cause its fun.

Anyway to the proper stuff that will fill this blog. We shall begin with the fact, I've been home for my reading week and had such a good time just being back in the old time and doing spontaneous dances at the early hours of the morning to songs like Airplanes, Hoedown Throw down and Pushing the Senses... a wide mix but we max it work. I hasten to add, that I'm not a professional dancer but i have a friend who ends up trying out new choreography on us when we have had a drink or two. Also the first assignment for fiction has been successfully handed in. so yeah, i'm pessimistic about the result because the story changed so much that I didn't recognize it anymore, but i am very pleased with the ending I created for it. nothing more entertaining than making your characters suffer and die in interesting ways.

As always I'm secretly stressing about things in life, but i'm very good at hiding these things (if your reading this and wondering why i'm telling you then stop being so smart and pretend you didn't hear it from me... or else there may be pain on a bizarre scale) but yeah, i'm finding that a lot of things are changing around me, as if I've handed control of my life to some mysterious nightmare man who drags me face first through dirt and expects me to stand up at the end of it all with a smile. Lately he has been toying with my emotions and has introduced someone to my world who I rarely spoke to in the previous years. Its now like i'm growing close to this person and developing feelings for her. As one of my housemates has said, feelings complicate things, I understand this and have agreed with him, but I don't seem to follow through in my actions. Its just the life of an incredibly unstable 20 (soon to be 21 year old) I guess. But we have fun don't we? or at least thats what i'm telling myself.

So yeah, moving onwards before emotion becomes so obvious that it burns a hole in my head. I am sketching out some of my comic as you read this most likely, so assuming I can get a scanner somewhere, I will post a couple of pages up on the blog for the world to gander at. Self Publishing to the MAX! Oh just to warn the faint viewers, some of the stuff does tend to get violent because its not a happy comic... there are no tea parties or white rabbits, its a story of how the world could end and it's not going to be a smooth ride because I know these characters are the most disturbed and flawwed individuals you will ever see for years to come. At least I hope so. Think Kick Ass with Watchmen with Blade with a bit of Japanese violence in the mix and times it by a million. But this is just my view of the stuff, I don't know if you'll enjoy it or not, but I have been working this story for the past six months and I hope that I've achieved the best quality of tale for the world to see.

Anyway, lets see, thats all for now. Hmm songs for this post... thats tough this time because I've been hearing a lot of rubbish in the music business these last weeks. But I'm going to suggest the new Alexisonfire EP- Dog Days and Parallels by As I Lay dying. they are heavy songs so just be warned. Oh and if anyone knows Final Fantasy, I rediscovered this the other day and it still makes me smile. so here you guys go.

Ocean waves crash and break, removing the footsteps of our Renaissance

Bonjour, it's now November which means two things. Firstly it's nearly Chrimbo time which is made clear by the ridiculous amounts of adverts on the television these days (I still haven't seen the cola advert yet tut tut) and secondly I turn 21 in less than three weeks now... i'm so full of excitement that if you asked me what I'm doing my response would actually be "whatever..." truth be told, i'm never very good with birthdays let alone my own after the last two years attempts at celebrations have been disasterific to say the least. But onwards and upwards i guess.

So the news on the week, we had the halloween party and the clean up (which was about as entertaining as finding a horse's head in your bed!) so that passed with very little trouble, despite my spider-sense going nuts haha. And then on the friday we had the field trip to the williamson tunnels. Now don't get me wrong, I was full of excitement to about the epic adventure I was hoping the trip would be, but i was majorly disappointed. Not because of the historical side of the tunnels, but the lack of things to see, it was almost like we were standing in a sewer to be honest... a sewer with ducks? Don't ask to much about that, because I only managed to come to the conclusion that they we halloween decorations, either that or ducks get freaky down there. And to top it all off, apparently we are meant to be inspired by the giant hole in the ground, i'm sorry but I'm lost for inspiration, historically i'm interested but inspired i am not. Not to mention that i'm sure people are going to be looking to sci-fi stuff to use in the stories, I dunno what to do with my story, i don't even have an idea... oh well best get to reading into the depths of human emotions again... and try a new style of story, historical stories that are purely insane and based on very little truth- hello da vinci code. haha

But on a slightly happier note, I got the new Taylor Swift album and its amazing. I don't think I've removed it from my cd player since last week, oh the joys of cds. I'm still not swung on the entire digital age (ps as discovered last night around midnight when me and some mates were incredibly drunk, we become crazy paranoids fearing technology and stuff, so it's safer not to get THAT drunk again for a long time!) so I'm still buying cds.

And to close this blog for the moment is the songs of the moment. I have 3 for you lucky followers this time round. muhaha

Katy Perry- Firework

Taylor Swift- Long Live

& Bring Me The Horizon- Fuck

So yeah I'm out of here and I'll give you an update soon =)

PS- I like this picture from my housemate. We look like adventurers

We keep messing up the words to the love song but maybe it's making us closer than we ever dreamed possible

Good afternoon o' followers,
First off I'll apologize for my temporary disappearance from blogging... for literally the an entire month and a half. Reason behind this is I have been riding a snow-ball of craziness as uni entered the third year. Oh the joys of that one.

Well lets see what i can tell you that will keep you entertained to the end of the post. well I'm now living in a new house away from the sinestro forces from last year which makes a big difference, because I can wake up dancing with happiness that I'm have some fun for once in my uni life. If I used emoticons I would be colon and a capital D... [:D] anyway I'm sure I can find some pictures of our exploits to show you all sometime soon.

Erm what else, oh yes earlier today I submitted to this short story blog because of homework, but I actually found the task rather fun and thought-provoking... odd combination of words but its what it felt like. so riding this breeze of enthusiasm for submitting I'm gonna send more stories out to places. Get ready magazines and publishers, you are about to be caught in my path of determination *insert evil laugh here*

Anyway I'm gonna fly for a bit, but I'll have some more news for you all soon, these next two weeks are gonna be crazy with stuff and parties so I will try keep you updated with our exploits next weekend.

Peace and love

PS the songs for this post are Radioactive by K.O.L and Higher by The Saturdays
Laters

And in the sanctuary of dreams fears and tears fall to the sandy shores of the ocean of life

Greetings o' nobal followers of the world. I must admit I've actually been busy lately. Obviously there is my comic that i'm writing (more on that in a minute) however I have also been talking to Noel Clarke via e-mail about his comic that he is writing and sending my artwork for him to consider. although i'm not sure i'm the right artist for the job so I doubt there will be nothing more said about it. But it is a big step in the right direction for me.

Anyway onto more news, I'm still writing my comic script and doing some designs for characters. Now I've written a new character that appears in the parallel world in my comic. She is what can only be described as a Designer and is a major part of the mystery. Her entire presence forces my script into the thrid act of the story and brings new conflicts to a head. The main question is why is this young woman sat on the beach drawing scenes that have yet to unfold and what is Nate's connection to her??? Plus I've written a location called the Solar Beach where there are more mysteries than you can believe. say goodbye to your sanity!!! And the object that is the heart of Lilith! the most bizarre object in the entire story. oh the joys of keeping track of my story.

Also I've officially re-started Twitter again, so follow me on there. Its always nice to have people who know you reading what randomness you have to say... paulisarebel is my screen name. but i'm sure you can all find me if you look hard enough.

And to close the song of the moment is Treasure by Flyleaf. enjoy

Art, old and new images

We've got bills to pay and nothing figured out, but that doesn't matter when all the city lights are in the water

I was on the bus earlier and this old couple were sat in front of me, and I noticed that the old gentleman was reading the Daily Sport. Interesting I thought to myself. Then I heard him say to his wife "I say darling, there isn't much Sport in this paper." That old man is a legend.

Just thought I would share that bit of real life comedy to begin with. Well anyways, as with British summer time, the weather has become gloomy and overcast with lots of rain. oh the joys. however it has given me time to work on my writing and such business. I recently decided that I would go back to my original poetic inspiration from the first time I wrote a poem in the summer of 2007, whilst laying on my oddly clean bedroom floor listening to my first record in about a year- Taylor Swift's first album (yes she was around before most of the crazy follow the hype people caught onto her *Shock/Horror!*) So yes I was scribbling all the feelings that I like to repress onto paper, whilst singing along to Taylor Swift (even her new song [more info on that one soon]) and I actually came up with some strangely good or pleasing stanzas (not versus as I have often referred to them as) and they may be cliche but for once I don't care. I'm not at university, I'm not trying to write a poem that reflects me as a writer whilst trying to not be cliche or remove every part of my identity as a writer. Maybe thats why I struggle with poetry, because unlike with my fiction I can't create the world, poetry has to have some emotional connection in my mind. with my fiction I tend to try involve the reader and make my work ambigious, but still have a connection to emotions, however not as clear as poetry.

Anyway here is one of the stanzas (not verses) that I wrote, the poem it is attached to is currently being editted, so this stanza is a sample.

They told me you had a shield for combat in the field,
But I'm a rebel, with nothing figured out
in the streetlight...
And I remember that talk at 1:25am
I found a hole and broke down the wall.
Spoke of things in the clearest way only to leap off the cliff
cause I'm a flight-risk
drowned in miscommunication
too scared and scarred from the fields 100 miles away.
Wounds will heal and wounds will emerge
But i've still got blood melting the ice shield between...

If you haven't noticed, I'm a fan of long stanzas cause I like imagery in a way... mainly I like to talk and write thou. Anyway thats all I have for now, and the song for this post is Taylor Swift- Mine. enjoy my followers

Teenage dreams, angry music and skin tight jeans... is this our new life?

Well its been a while since I last wrote a post... doesn't sound right does it? Hmm, ok, its been a while since I blogged (sounds better) so I thought I would let you all catch up with me and my immature life.



So I've been working hard on my comic and so far have created this story with two worlds and the question is the hero called Nate dead or alive. the main question is did he die on the operating table after his accident or was he subject to the torturous operations that the Raising Project forced upon him. Its all turning out quite mind boggling, and only I, the arcitect of this boggling scene that unfolds before me knows where its heading... or I should. The fact is that i'm getting so involved with the characters stories that I don't want to see them reach the end of there road. This has led to the original idea of 8 issue compact story begin to manifest into a whole world of story lines in this small concept I created under the influence of my own madness. I've even become so involved that i have changed the name of one of the characters because the character was based on a person close to me, this attachment to the character was preventing me from hurting the character in any and all ways possible. Personally, I think that some comics are flawed because the writers make the character of stone and can not turn it over to see the gritty and dirty underneath of characters. Think Superman, how can he be stopped? kryptonite hasn't worked, nor has magic and Doomsday certainly failed to do a decent job of keeping him dead. Spiderman occasionally gets a hard hitting storyline like "The night Gwen Stacy Died" or "Sins Past". and don't get me started on Batman... is Bruce Wayne even back as Batman yet? stupid Grant Morrison. Anyway, I feel that to make the story more interesting for writer, artist and reader, the characters have to suffer, and not the whole "oh no, i have power but i couldn't stop someone from harming those close to me!" madness. cross the line between right and wrong, make the harsh choices. why yesterday I wrote two pages where innocent girl Alexis betrayed Carlos for her Fathers personal gain and stabbed him in the back literally. She showed no remorse for severing the nerves and his spinal cord. These are human characters who have to decide when to cross the line, not fall down on the side of right and wrong.





Anyways on other news, nightlife is the same and dull, work sucks and uni can't come around soon enough. so thats all i got for now. and in keeping with tradition, i want everyone to get onto youtube and listen to the following songs


Katy Perry- Teenage Dream


The Pretty Reckless- Miss Nothing


Do it now... muhaha. so i'm off to work, so i'll post something soon. have fun and enjoy my wonderful followers





ps if anyone can bring Smallville back from its dull and predictable storylines in these days its Geoff Johns... Absolute Justice was amazing plus Stargirl was spot on... thank you mister Johns.

We were always aware when we were children...

Its nice sometimes to look back at memories that can bring a smile on the darkest of days. when we reach the age that life starts taking from us we have nothing but memories to tide us over. however thats not the real thing i want to talk about today or rather whenever it is you wonderful followers of mine will be reading this.

Anyway so yeah, recently I entered a poetry competition just for a laugh really but I realised once I entered- "oh god, if I get through what the hell am I going to do next? This poem that is about as entertaining as a mature conversation might be accepted, if that happens how am I going to perform that blooding thing." Then it dawned on me, if I perform it get the audience involved. make them actively part of the performance. I'm used to performing on stage as I used to do a wee bit of stand up and comedy sketches amongst numerous musicals that we did. And before anyone asks, yes as every theatre group does we did 'West Side Story' and I suffered injuries during the shows run. So yeah the performing infront of a crowd but how to do that requires a new brain wave. looking at the pictures and footage from last years competition no-one seemed to try anything like this. so maybe it could be slightly original to try it. hmm who knows. i'm just getting ahead of myself as the competition is still open for entry. I'm sometimes too eager. So yeah but i'll give you the website to have a look at and enter if you wish. www.poetryrivals.com try it and see what happens. like me.

Anyway so i'm going to make a dash now. got dates to keep haha. yeah thats not very likely. oh yeah one more thing, i'm making video blogs or in the process of making the first. so i'll post them. i think its a good idea just to share more stuff with people. the footage is basically of my adventures this month and stuff. so we shall speak soon. oh yeah and could you all check out this young ladies music. she does covers mainly but she is very good. www.myspace.com/zanyclo

enjoy ladies and jellybeans. i'm going to demonstrate my super atheltic skills now.

As we stare at explosions in the sky, we take first deep breath after the coma

Its been an interesting two weeks as we linger around parks and pubs waiting to fully understand our decisions in life and the decisions that effect us. I can only describe it as been comatized until a massive shock wave ripples through our world waking us from our slumber. I'm not gonna babble on in this metaphorical state much longer, in fact i'll get to the point. At a recent gathering of some of my close friends in a wood where we go to have camp fires etc, we call it the cove. two major bombshells have been dropped. first is that my closet friend grace is moving away to scotland due to her fathers new job, and secondly that I myself am probably moving from the city to the countryside. I've suspected the move for a while as my rents have been endlessly looking at properties. the fact of the matter is that i'm not too fond of the idea. i'm losing one close friend in mere days and soon, i'm going to be movin away from others. maybe its time to lapse back into the comatized state for security.

Away on to other blog news and such business. the most recent update is that uni year 2 has been passed with success. therefore making my feel some cheer in the gloomy days that are coming to pass. man i do sound like a manic depressive here. oh well. character designs for the comic are coming along nicely and i've titled the first two issues

Issue #1 is titled - The Only Moment We Were Alone Under The Star
Issue #2 is titled - Have You Passed Through This Cold Earth To Uncover Me?
Issue #3 is currenty titled - Voices From My Home Echo In My Mind
and Issue #4 is currently titled - In The Nighttime Rain She Said "We Meet Again At The Fall Of The Spring Rain Drowned In The Cherry Blossoms"

So thats all I have got for you people at the moment. The song for this post is by Michael Rice and is called We are not made of glass. he's an unsigned artist so don't expect to find loads of hits on him. youtube him though, his song is on there.

My Hands, don't want to start again, my hands don't want to understand!

Seen as I'm taking a break from my hectic schedule of Final Fantasy 13, Final Fantasy 3 and Final Fantasy 4 with a bit of Halo thrown in for the difference in games, I thought I'd write out a Summer Playlist which you can all have a gander and a listen to, old and new songs included people. Just cause I like music and you should all listen to it etc etc etc (long rant removed by author to prevent damaging the keyboard).

Anyways here goes. (no particular order people)

Fightstar- Mono/Mecury Summer/Grand Unification pt1/ Shinji Ikari
Funeral For A Friend- Captains of Industry/ Into Oblivion/ You Want Romance?
The Beatles- Help!/ Drive My Car
Leona Lewis- My Hands/ I Got You
Fall Out Boy- Sugar, We're Going Down/ Saturday
30 Seconds to Mars- This is War/100 Suns/ Attack/ Capricorn/ Night of the Hunter/ Kings & Queens
Lights- Second Go/ Saviour
Kids in Glass Houses- Undercover Lover
Alexisonfire- The Northern/ Midnight Regulations
Biffy Clyro- God and Satan
All Time Low- Too Much/ Damned if I do ya, Damned if I don't/ Painting Flowers
The Notwist- Consequence
Taylor Swift- Today Was a Fairytale
You Me At Six- Fireworks/ The Rumour
Iron Maiden- Can I Play With Madness?/ A Different World
Jimi Hendrix- All Along The Watchtower/ Voodoo Chile
Dave Melillo- Knights of the Island Counter
Ghostlines- Acid
IHauntWizards- More Than A Friend

So yeah thats all I got at the moment. enjoy these songs and post your own playlists. share the music people because nothing is better than (the following is censored for the benefit of all mankind and to save the ears of innocent children)
SO peace and lover peoples i'm off to kick some Fal'Cie butt

The scent of Roses still lingers in the summer rain

Summer days become longer until the back end of this month, and the rain has made the times cooler, which in turn allows me to work in comfort through the nights instead of bleeding and sweating together in the horrific heat. Its true, my job officially is torture in the summer. But enough of that, the days are longer and until people return from university for Summer, i'm going to continually play Final Fantasy 13. well the last few days have been wet and windy so i thought i may as well be productive and scream at a video game everytime an eidolan bashes me around the battlefield and whenever some selfish Fal'Cie refuses to die.

And amonsgt this repetative pattern of never ending video games and films, I find myself getting a lecture daily from my parents about what I want to do with my life. The answer to that is I have no idea. Drifting through the world has worked for me so far and until I figure out what I want to do, its going to stay that way. Thats the only way to look at it. I'm working on my own comic/graphic novel at the moment and once i've got everything ready, i'll send it to publishers etc. other than that my parents keep trying to push me to teach. why can't they get over the fact, i don't want to do that anymore. the amount of responsibilty on your shoulders is immense and can crush a person.

anyway thats all for the moment, I believe that drifting and Final Fantasy 13 await. lets get it on. oh yeah and the song for this post is Ellie Goulding- Your Biggest mistake.

Summer days, mistaken for there nightlife in the neon glow of the city that breaks our dreams

If I had a pound for everytime someone in my house (ie my most annoying brother) told me they were bored, then i'd be rich or at least out of my overdraft. This is no word of a lie. except he would never give me any money because he's tight walleted like that.

Anyway to the point. I miss the S.O.S brigade. (also known as Kirsty, Hayley, Abi and Sam [as well as the other random players we encounter on our adventures]) It's official Braders sucks mega monkey butt. Anyone who says otherwise will be given the Uber Death penalty (buy two rounds and drink 10 shots in a row). Perhaps I should write down the penalties i'm going to use in the S.O.S brigade from September onwards? hmm. maybe it will be a good idea. But yes anyway, as I am officially living with three out of the four members of the S.O.S brigade, I will ensure more randomness and crazyness (to the scale of world breaking). that is something to look forward to. yay! So yeah here's a list of the current penalties I have invented for the S.O.S brigade.

Uber Death Penalty- buy two rounds and drink 10 shots (for very serious offences)
Death Penalty- Run five/ten laps around a field shouting "Green Men are chasing me"
Averge Penalty- 5 days community service (ie answering to the orders of all others present without resistance)

I think these seem fair. hmmm, need more thou to keep things entertaining. the death penalty is faintly remeniscant of the penalty i used in high school to my friend. except we made him run topless around the school fields screaming "teachers after me". hahaha. oh the days.

There was once a longing to find an infinite playlist... now it is a dream of the unwaking nightmare

Do you ever get those days where you wake up from dreaming and realise what you want is too far away to reach and that you're living a nightmare of your own creation because of it. Well if you do then you'll understand what I mean. It's like a weird form of depression. At least thats what it feels like, and this feeling has grown out of the small pond that I live in only to become a vast ocean of madness, aggression, lust, despair and ridiculous misunderstandings. To which the conclusion of this can only be screaming "shoot me, for god's sake just shoot me!" at the top of your lungs so that you can feel something that can be real instead of the disillusion that is brought on by this quest.

That is all for today people. Please enjoy the following songs All Time Low- Remembering Sunday & Too Much

And in this new age, we commanded a reprise of our old life

So I'm back people. University year two has reached its timely end, making my favourite problems return to the front of my mind. You know the problems I'm on about, will I pass my coursework and the year, will i ever get a job, will my parents ever stop hassling about what I want to do with my career and finally the big problem of my weight/chunkiness. yes i am aware that that is girly problem to have but i don't care because i'm so insecure about everything and i always feel fat. the usual thing i do is eat less and such like, but at home thats a problem because my parents will fill my plate to bursting/overflowing point and its getting harder to disguise how much i'm eating or rather how little. so yeah over stressed to bursting and relapsing into my old self which is a nightmare.

On another note, the lovely friend who had told me she liked me is now dating another person. don't get me wrong i am not saying she shouldn't. but when she turns around and claims that she only liked you to get an emotional response and receive attention from you really cuts you deep down inside. most of the time I'm not lettin things like this bother me because i'm supposedly bulletproof and can brush it off this exterior shell but if you admit to using and playing with someones feelings then how do you expect them to respond.
"Oh hey, I just pretended I liked you because I wanted attention!"
"Oh ok, thats cool, don't worry you may have toyed with my emotions and mental stability but its ok because i'm totally cool with being used!"
Yeah it doesn't happen like that does it. no it bloody doesn't because people shouldn't toy around with peoples emotions. this is made all the worse because of the fact i had to make one of the hardest decisions in romantic life. Giving up on the one person you ever fell in love with because you value her friendship and understand why she doesn't want to get close to people therefore choosing the best option for both of parties even though it kills you inside.

Yes i am aware that this is turning into a rant. but i need this. if the girl i love reads this and gets slightly offended that i'm posting this then i'm sorry in advance, just to soothe over the arguement that is more than likely going to ensue. so sorry.

and to the one who has toyed with my feelings for the last 7 months, lets get one thing straight. I came running to you when you needed a shoulder to cry on, i made you smile when your world was collapsing, i stayed up late and held your hand just to remind you that people care, and i stopped you when you were about to make the mistake you knew would make things complicated! So forgive me if i did anything wrong to you that made you think i didn't care, maybe thats why you thought it was funny to play games with my emotions. The last thing I have to say to is that if you ever find yourself in the crisis your last boyfriend put you in then don't come running to me because I'm not gonna run back. I reprised the great moments of my own mortality to you and you used them to your advantage. well its done. I care nomore.

So yeah, sorry for the long rant, but I wanted to vent abit instead of bottling and standing on the edge of a crusade against myself again. therefore to conclude in the normal manner the music this week is by a very lovely young lady from canada called Lights. I saw her on tour and she can illuminate the room. so Go look up Lights, all songs are good. Look and Listen people. try myspace.com/lights for a selection of her songs. anyways peace and love people. i'm off to do the night shift. laters

I hope we make it through and the sea will be as blue as our dreams

For all the pilgrims that venture to read my blog, I though for once I'd treat you all to a special little goody. No it's not sweets, cause i've just finished eating them, seriously big bag of haribo on top of a curry probably isn't good but I'll live with it. So yeah anyway, I am going to give you all a look at one of the new short story I have been working on since before easter. Originally an assignment, but I felt I could expand more and create the world much more as well the characters. But yeah so here is the extract from the short story "Echoes"

The rain splattered across the windows of the plane. Its loose components rattled violently as we made our way through the sea of clouds. Faith sat in the seat behind me, curled up and afraid. The smell of burning flesh still lingered in our nostrils. The controls of this plane were strangely familiar. On the dashboard were the words “le rêve lointain”, just like in my dreams. I kept the plane climbing through the clouds, in hope of finding an end to the thick layer. Soon the clouds began to thin and we burst out into a vast ocean of blue skies and bathed in sunlight.

“Wow… it’s beautiful…” Faith whispered.

The tip of the tower was now visible. It was flat, not pointed like I had often imagined at the train station. I steered the plane towards the towers tip and took a long deep breath to prepare myself for the answers. At first I circled the tower’s tip and looked down into the gaping hole atop. Darkness was all I could see. Turbulence shook the plane as we flew over the top of the tower to get a second look into the gaping hole.

Suddenly I felt my body tingle as if an electrical pulse had been shot into me. The plane began to plummet into the blackness of the tower. Faith screamed at me to do something. The pain throughout my body grew as we fell. My eyes became heavy as the pain became unbearable. I grasped the controls once more, desperate to pilot the plane back into the light. The controls were so heavy, like boulders. I fought the controls, frantically trying to pull them closer to allow me to pilot the plane. My arms were stretched to their limits. Through my fading eyesight, I watched as the skin on fore arm began to tear and blood splashed across the glass. Wires coloured blue and red, like veins and arteries became severed as metal and bone broke leaving my forearms hanging from the planes controls. The plane shook more violently and tore itself from its own limbs. As my eyes finally closed I saw the small ray of light from the top of the tower disappear as we plummeted into the never ending darkness.

So yeah, there you have an extract on from the short story. hope you like it, feel free to comment and share your thoughts on the extract. Anyways, important stuff next like the usual. So the song for this post is by Breaking Benjamin. Firstly I'm fed up of people raving about the phobia album, seriously, there were two albums full of amazing songs before that album. anyway the song is Firefly. A good tune as I'm sure the row of empty beer cans on my desk will agree as I spent Sunday night drinking to a mixed cd of Breaking Benjamin songs (mostly playing firefly because its such awesomeness). Anyways I believe that this sums up the entire post for the day except I had to post this to close with, i know everyone will have seen it but it makes me smile and cheers me up so much.

In the mist of the concert partying with Ms Vickers

As you can probably guess by my title and previous post, I've been to see Diana Vickers live in concert, last night to be exact. Firstly I want to say that if you hate her, stop readying now because i don't want to hear it. joking you can read on.

Ok so yeah, i can safely say that Ms Vickers gave us all an amazing show. unlike most concerts and gigs where the singers and bands can ignore the crowd just to play their songs and earn there money, Diana Vickers didn't. she communicated with the crowd, made a good show and most of all kept us entertained (and not waiting around for hours like little boots did despite the quality of her show). but yes, for the opening night of the tour there was the same amount of energy as most people put into the last night of the tour. admittedly the support act (a solo artist who's name escapes me) was good but lacked the true feel for performance, even having to resort to a cover that junior/senior song from years ago. but it made entertaining viewing. To be honest with you, last nights performance has made me fall in love with Diana more because of her energy and style.

Anyways, moving onwards in a generally swift yet productive manner. I'm going to leave this post like this and continue with the pre-production for my novel kind of thing, just because i want it planned on paper before i start to keep the concentration. so the song for this post is going to be "Superhero" by The Pretty Reckless (yes the band with Taylor Momsen) get listening and I'll speak soon I guess.

Once More With Feeling

This is it, one more day till I officially finish uni for the summer, although I'm gonna be hanging up in the town for a little long cause I've paid for my room so i may as well use it. Anyway, so I've got two exams tomorrow, not looking forward to them and I feel completely unprepared because I always do feel like that. But that's not what is exciting, cause exams are not exciting at all. The exciting news is that on Saturday night, I'm off to see Diana Vickers on the opening night of the tour. this is gonna be good cause I've never being to an opening night before, i prefer to go to the last night of the tour because most bands and singers give it there all on these nights. so it's gonna be interesting but still a good show cause i love her so much. plus i want to discover if there is any truth to the phrase "Diana Vickers wears no knickers"... i joke not really but yeah she is very very cute.

Moving on to something more universally entertaining. have you ever seen an author so crazy that he strangles his fans? i have! well not literally strangle but pretends to for photo opportunities. Yeah thats pretty crazy right. well in case your wondering, stay away from Darren Shan because he's crazy like that. not that i'm a fan of his, but i have friends who are. leading us on a crazy adventure which led to sam falling asleep, the girls queueing for nearly an hour and a half, and me reading the entire Dark Avengers collection to the present issue. so yeah all that led me to wonder what the hell was taking so long and calling Darren Shan a blithering idiot under my breath because he was acting like a loony. that being said i have the maturity of a whoopie cushion so i don't really hold any higher ground unless you count not strangling my fans and admirers? well I do so therefore I am morally superior to Darren Shan. for the moment.

Ok so that's all I've got for the moment, next time I post something I should have seen Ms Vickers' perform and I'll let y'all know about the show. which only leaves one final thing. the song of the post. well today we have some cultural difference, because todays song is from the Japanese singer Utada Hikaru- "Beautiful World" try both the original version and the acoustic if you can.

So mucho love etc and I'll post to y'all soon.

I'll be wallowing in sorrow, wearing a frown like Peirrot the Clown

So yeah, at present I'm rediscovering my love for Placebo whilst i'm working on my new short story. but i'm here to have a long rant at things. just because of recent events that have greatly annoyed me.

Apparently it appears that people no longer have the time for Cyberpunk because they have lost there imaginations and can't seem to use there brains to picture things. I'm not saying that its all there fault, maybe i'm not clear with some of the terms i mention. but i think that if you mention people surfing the internet with holo-glasses and causing mayhem and have called them jackers its pretty clear. i mean they're like hackers but access through the internet by jacking into it? that clear? evidently not. plus eluding to a drug called Crunk by mentioning someone od'd on it should give a pretty big damn hint. its not like i'm trying to be smart, i did make some mistakes and stuff with other explainations but it think you can use your imagination to create some mental image!

Aside from that, getting accused of plagerism for something that your friend suggests is stupid. ok so i'll just explain this, admiral arrogent in the class believes that I plagerised a film called Cowboy Bebop, by using golden butterflies which had the same role in the film as they did in my short story. ok i can except that but if i'm accused of doing it with something i haven't seen (I would like to point out i watched the anime but not the film which included these golden butterflies) is pretty humiliating. the reason i included butterflies similar to those in the movie was via suggestion from my best friend (who had seen it and apologized for her mistake). thus is my problem, why would you assume that someone is plagerising when they haven't seen the film, further more make a scene in the class making you feel like shit and wanting to basically slit your wrists because of the humiliation and public scuritiny? normal people don't. but the creative writing aristocracy in the class believe that they are superior and should use any and all chances to make others feel like thrash and worthless as writers. don't get me wrong, i can handle criticism, like toning down on the bloody images, explaining some things better, develop character dialogue more, all useful and things i have done. however if you are going to make a scene and leave someone mentally scared to write anything again because you tear into them so much then that's not helpful at all. in fact its the opposite.

Ok so yeah anyway, that is the rant over for now. taking these things into mind, i changed the story from cyberpunk style to steampunk style whilst keeping some of the key elements of the story. so yeah i'll post an extract from both versions of the story later. just to show what i've experimented with. maybe there will be hope for the stories later. but i'm not holding my breath.

On a happy note, i feel that for the first time something has gone right for me in the field of romance. i met a lovely girl who is from my own city and we really hit it off. for now we are friends but i would love to move forward into a relationship with her. i hope so. but for now i'll hold my breath and enjoy the dream that will hopefully become reality. (good story idea... i like it... and its mine muhaha)

right so i'm gonna bring this to a close. there are two songs for this post. first is Placebo (as i'm listening to them so much) "follow the cops back home" and second is wideawake- "maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow" ok so look and listen and enjoy yourselves.
I'm off to finish watching the crazy yet oddly entertaining 1960's Batman film with Adam West.

The Bad Romance

Ok, so I'm not a massive fan of Lady Gaga (despite singing along to her songs due to the catchi-ness) but yeah, I think this is one of the best covers of a song I've heard in a while.

So here you go people, Lissie's cover of Bad Romance (live)

You can never find what you want

It's true, well in most cases anyway. seriously, I have spent all god damn day searching high and low for one of those 1950's vintage automotive jackets like the one from Nick & Norah's infinate playlist cause I think they're cool. And seen as the fashion of the day isn't covering them at the moment then you can't find one anywhere in the world. because clearly standing out in the crowd isn't good anymore, we must make everyone look the same! pfft what a load of disappointment.

Anyways I finally got my hands on Evangelion 1.11- You are (not) alone, and i'm looking forward to viewing it, I mean it was only released in 2007 and took 3 years to get to flipping Great Britian. clearly we need to sort that out. i'm thinking a strongly worded letter. mu ha ha.

Ok so if anyone knows where I can find one of those jackets let me know and yeah guess that's all for now, except i've decided to name a song that i've been listening to lots or like at the end of most of these posts for everyone to investigate and see if they like cause i like recommendations.

So this week we have 100 Years- Five For Fighting (yes I am aware its an old song but I've only just unearthed it and if you haven't heard it yet shame on you)

Righties I'm off, laters

I found this highly amuzing

Just thought I'd share that with you all.

The first post... scary huh?!

Yeah, it's actually not cause I used to have a myspace and blogged on there (not to the extent of anything great, infact I think I moaned about high school... well now is an entirely new kettle of fish... we can rant about uni... or not) Anyway moving onwards in a fashion similar to walking but not.

I guess the first thing I want to mention is that clearly I'm an idiot for waiting till my second year comes to a close for me to set a blog. but yeah that's just because clearly i'm stupid. Ok so I guess I'll share some stuff with you in upcoming posts and stuff, like some lyrics, poems, sections of stories, some of my artwork (I'm also working on a comic, more on that as I progress) and general inner thoughts on stuff I've got on my mind, maybe even my thoughts on a gig or two. Just to keep you all interested.

Secondly, I've just realised that as I am typing this, my I-Tunes has decided it likes to play Susan Boyle? Don't know why, I've given up on the useless bit of software. Considering I was enjoying The Pretty Reckless and now this... I don't understand...

Anyways, mucho thanks if you're reading this, feel free to follow, comment and whatever else you can do on these blogs that I have yet to figure out.

Laters